What drives someone to be passive? And by that, I mean, those who are aggressively passive. More commonly referred to as passive aggressive. It seems such a contradiction in terms. If you desire to get what you want (which is what these types are after) why not just say what you mean? Truly passive people are just that; they do not care; they do not mind; they will go with the flow and make no attempt to disrupt it, to the effect that they will let the flow shape them as opposed to the other way around. PA or AP people, on the other hand, want, for what ever reason, for you to think that they are so, such that they go through extraordinary means to appear “passive”, when their sole aim to is get what they want. It seems like a great waste of energy to me.
And yet, somehow, particularly for women, it seems this is the more socially acceptable form of confrontation. Until, that is, they meet a man. At which point, the man will simply ignore, or more likely be oblivious to, the underlying agenda, ride with the passivity and send them spinning.
Luckily, I am not such a woman, but neither, unfortunately, am I as direct as a man.
Men have the innate ability to be able to just, well… say what they think. You would think this would be easy. Women on the other hand, think, and think and think and think, and then say, after analyzing what they should or should not say. However, men, will often not voice what they think, unless asked…..prodded….and pulled.
I fall somewhere in between it seems, and no, I am not androgenous. I like to be direct when I am confident in what I am saying. However, when I am unsure of the response or intimidated by the reaction that might result, I tend to keep to myself. That is, until the thoughts pile upon pile. Then, at some unforseen moment, at some unfortunate person, they come bowling down, a thunderous ball of jumbled words. I seem to be able to coapt them well enough when writing, but in anger, they land– splat, all a miss. Some shards to sharp, some shreds to thin. So, I get out my literary broom and sweep them all into a neat stack and throw them out in to the trash.
Now, if that isn’t a waste of energy. I just hope the floor isn’t the worse for the wear.
